1- All boys are innocent before the lights are off! - Shakespeare's wife..:)
2- All girls are beautiful, after the lights are switched off! - Shakespeare.
3- A very emotional quote by a lonely boy...
I want her back :(.
.
.
.
And her front too.
4- The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman - the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Nietzsch
5- If you can make a girl laugh - you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe
6- If you can make a girl laugh - you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe
7- It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time. -Tallulah Bankhead
8- It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. -Alexandre Dumas
9- A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. -Ronald Knox
10- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. -Joan Rivers
11- My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -Emo Philips
12- Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner
13- A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. -Chauncey Mitchell Depew
14- The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less. -Brendan Francis
15- Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. -Bob Rubin
16- We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time. -Arthur Hoppe
17- I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. -Garry Shandling
18- I was told that when you hit forty men stop looking at you. It's true, until you slip on a mini-skirt.-Mariella Frostrup
19- Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. -William Shakespeare
20- To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. -Cary Grant
21- When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein
22- Graze on my lips, and if those hills are dry, Stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie. -William Shakespeare
23- A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead. ~Leo Rosten
24- A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. -Chauncey Mitchell Depew
25- I`m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
-Garry Shandling26- It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
-Tallulah Bankhead27- Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
-Yul Brynner28- A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
-Ronald Knox29- I was told that when you hit forty men stop looking at you. It's true, until you slip on a mini-skirt.
-Mariella Frostrup30- We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time.
-Arthur Hoppe31- When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
-Albert Einstein32- A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
-Redd Foxx33- Graze on my lips, and if those hills are dry, Stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie.
-William Shakespeare34- The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
- Gloria Leonard35- To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
-Cary Grant36- My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
-Emo Philips37- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.
-Joan Rivers38- Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
-William Shakespeare39- Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range. -Scott E. Roeben
40- Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. -S. J. Perelman
41- An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card. -Alex comfort
42- Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies. -Adrienne Gusoff
43- 'm definitely claustrophobic. I have a morbid fear of tight spaces. Thankfully, with my girlfriend, I'll never have a problem with that. -Scott E. Roeben
44- I am skilled at the art of love. I just wish I had a bigger paintbrush. -Scott E. Roeben
45- I guess you could call me a polygamist. Sometimes I switch hands. -Scott E. Roeben
46- A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race. A woman only needs to be available. -Masters and Johnson
47- An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card. -Alex comfort
48- A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. -Francoise Sagan
49- I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. -Emo Philips
50- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. -Joan Rivers